“I have had a truly tough life. My mum left home and went to work as a fisherwoman on another island when I was very young. My father remarried and my stepmother used to starve me so my father gave me to a relative whose husband was a drunkard and that's where I was first raped. After my aunt separated from that man, she couldn't take me with her so I was handed off to another relative. I was often left home alone, and a neighbor also started raping me. No one really cared. I was called spoiled when I confided in my relative about it. Then someone suggested going to a white man's home to her, she couldn't be happier to get rid of me. So when Bery also started molesting me, I believed I was destined for this life. I spent a lot of my time seeking for a small window of hope but even I knew deeply that no one was coming for my rescue because no one believed me anyway. So, I stayed and endured but the pain is too much to carry around my chest sometimes”
Lillian* 22 recently graduated from university and helped run the shelter where the girls stayed hoping and fighting for justice that unfortunately never came. At the same time being at the centre means enduring threats and nightmares from the ‘Justice for Bery’ supporters who accused her and others first of ‘throwing a sick innocent man in jail’ and later for ‘killing him’.
“Do you ever feel like you’re suffocating under layers and layers of debris and your body feels numbed by the minute, feeling every inch of you being overpowered and your whole system slowly shutting down in a never-ending loop with sharp daggers constantly poking at your soul? That’s how I have felt every day for the last 12 years of my life. I have a lot of hatred for that man and those that share his skin. I was 7 when I was taken to his house. The world will never know how many times I tried to end my life…to end it all so I don’t have to ever remember what he did to me. Education cost me my innocence and my life altogether. Because if it wasn’t about schooling, then I won’t have ended up at that house”.
Farida* 19 fails to contain her tears each time she narrates her story to me amidst reminding herself that she needs to do this in hopes of saving other girls by reminding them to speak up.
“I can’t find the right words to describe or package what I went through. I felt deeply betrayed and abandoned. I felt like I was left on the ground and my legs couldn’t support me to stand again or someone to make my heart warm again. It has been so cold ever since…like somehow, I’m missing the skin that’s meant to cover it”.
Flower* now 20 was at Bery’s for 10 years.
“Everything I went through really makes me feel like I’m helpless, lonely and sick whenever I think about my experience at Bery’s. I try to comfort myself and sometimes I really force myself to forget everything but it’s like I’m a part of it and I can’t seem to figure out how to get away”.
Phiona* Now 19 was at Bery’s for 6 years before they were rescued
“All of us ‘older’ girls from age 8 had birth control implants, ‘protecting us from getting pregnant from boys’ and these were often inserted in our vaginas in the bathroom or his bedroom by Bery himself. He insisted it was a necessity and assured us this was normal as he was a medical doctor. He also ran a clinic by the home with help of some volunteers from abroad who came and went. One morning I woke up and my sister was gone, no goodbye, nothing. Got to find out later that she too was being raped by Bery and that she couldn't take it any longer but couldn't say anything about it. She was 16 by then and had been living at Bery’s for 4 years .and She went off to work away from “home” where Bery couldn't threaten her anymore.”
Mercy* Now 17 was brought to Bery’s place following her older sister through a man who told her mum that Bery could provide a better life for both girls.
“I have a lot of sisters! And toys!”
Immy* 7 is as innocent as her age. She is dearly loved by everyone at the shelter and often misses her mother, and father who passed a couple years ago.
“I'm angry at the world. Adults are meant to protect us but i don't understand why they hurt us instead."
Beth* 14, has lived at Bery’s since she was 4 years old.
“This situation at times makes me really sad and I feel like I’m not loved and that no one besides me cares about me and I can’t stop myself from crying. I sometimes feel like it's ridiculous to tell people about my messed up life story because I don’t think anyone would really listen to me or even believe me but then I’m glad at times that I have people that went through this with me and understand me deeply. It’s a bit comforting and really sad that back at Bery’s, no one confided in the other as we all thought we were the only one this was happening to and we were too embarrassed to confide in the others. Everyone suffered alone.”
Eliona* now 18, says that Bery visited her village and got them registered for sponsors. He came back after a week and told her that she had gotten a white sponsor and that the best way to be in touch with her sponsor was to stay at his place since her grandmother didn't have a smartphone. The abuse started shortly after she left home. She was 10 back then but she couldn't go back home because her Grandmother was finally happy that she could be in school after all the struggles.
“Being here again, together in this shelter is like being back at Bery’s but the better version of how things were supposed to be. Imagining the good somehow comforts me and eases my pain but having my sisters around me 24/7 gives me a much bigger hope to heal. I don’t know how I’m going to cope when this home is no more. I have recently started to feel good and comfortable having people around me and at the same time happy. It's been a long process but all together worth it and sometimes, I simply don't know how to feel.”
Cathy* 17 was one of the very first children brought to the Bery’s place when it was just starting up. She was there for 11 years and she struggles to remember details of her life before that.
“I have struggled so much with identifying what I feel, how I feel and why I feel these feelings and overwhelming emotions. Does blaming one for the horrible things they did to you ever reduce the pain? Does it ever heal the wounds? Does it give you any answers as to why they did what they did and particularly why they chose you? These questions drive me crazy every single day and i don't even know if I will ever get the answers to them because even the adults don't seem to have it figured out!”
Cathy* 17 was one of the very first children brought to Bery’s Place when it was just starting up. She was there for 11 years and she struggles to remember details of her life before that.
“I feel like a grown up wearing this dress. He might have taken advantage of my situation and took my innocence, but I still like to find small things that keep me happy. This dress brings me a lot of joy and it's a gift”
Beth* 14 was has lived at Bery’s from when she was 4 years old.
“I have occasionally made up stories in my head about my life. In that way, there is a bit of everything tangled up in my life story. Those made up stories have grown to be real to me and they help me cope with the pain."
Mercy* 17. Her mother still refuses to talk to her no matter how many times she has tried to reach out. She hopes that one day her mum will come around and at least acknowledge how this whole experience has impacted her.
“He made me a leader in the house and my main job was to make sure that we follow the schedule of who gets to spend the night in his bed, make sure that he gets his cancer medication in time and daily massages. I was 16 then. It was very uncomfortable and if we didn’t do what he wanted, he starved us. To this day, I still feel dirty like the kind of dirty that can’t be washed away no matter how many times I bathe."
Lillian* 22 recently graduated from university and helped run the shelter where the girls stayed hoping and fighting for justice that unfortunately never came. At the same time being at the centre means enduring threats and nightmares from the ‘Justice for Bery’ supporters who accuse her and others first of ‘throwing a sick innocent man in jail’ and later for ‘killing him’.
Blessing*, 8 years old, comforts the youngest survivor, Immy* who is 7 at the Lily of the Valley Shelter.
“My mother still hates me to this day because I chose to seek justice for what happened to us. She doesn’t understand how I can turn my back on a man who took me in and cared for me when my own father abandoned us, a man that fed me and paid my school fees. It’s as if I unknowingly entered in this silent agreement to use my body in exchange for paying my way through life. It reminds me that no one cares about what I went through, even my own mum. It’s as if I somehow deserved it”.
Mercy* 17. Her mother still refuses to talk to her no matter how many times she has tried to reach out. She hopes that one day her mum will come around and at least acknowledge how this whole experience has impacted her.
“I first got to Bery’s when I was 8 and I remembered being very overwhelmed by the number of people that were there. But as a kid, I quickly got used to the place. I had never been in a big family before and this one looked like a big happy one. There were many people to play with. My mum told me she would pick me up after the school holidays were done. So I tried to have as much fun as I could before she came back for me. The holidays passed and she never came back. Months turned into years and I later learnt that she had gone off to work as a maid in Saudi Arabia. I spent many years without seeing or talking to my mum. And I missed her so much! So, I sought love and affection from Bery, I did everything he asked of me. I didn't know that what he did to me was wrong. I recently reconnected with my mum. After 9 years of not seeing each other, she barely recognized me. She told me that she had me really young and after my father died, his relatives threw us out and she couldn't refuse the offer that Bery was presenting to take care of me as it was the only way she could go to work. Until now, she never explained why she never came back to visit even once."
Flower* now 20, does advocacy work to encourage young girls to seek help in situations of abuse and rape.
“He always made it feel like we had a choice to leave, but when I refused to do what he expected of me and packed up my things to go, he sent people [ahead] to tell my mum that I was misbehaving and not listening to him. When I got home, my mum was so furious, called me ungrateful and took me right back to Bery’s. He did that to a lot of us and in the end, we just stayed. That’s how manipulative he was.”
Mona* 19 was a victim of Bery for 8 years. Her mom, a single parent, couldn’t afford to take care of her and her 4 siblings.
“In the beginning, for all the new girls as young as 3, it was just massages. He always demanded for ‘more pairs of hands’ and it progressed to the schedules as we grew. Girls who were disobedient to his orders, were constantly reminded that they added ‘no value’ to the household so we were often starved and segregated until we followed his demands and became his favorite again. I was first invited to his room for a sleepover when I was 8. He told me that in his bed everyone slept naked. He took my pyjamas off and I woke up to him massaging me, groping my non-existent breasts, kissing me on the lips and touching my vagina. I will never forget how uncomfortable I was that night! I screamed and he slapped me telling me never to scare him again like that and that this was ‘normal’ for girls my age. It got worse as I grew up.”
Esther* Now 16 stays at the Lily of Valley Shelter with the other survivors, who are visited by counselors two times in a week to help treat the trauma.
“I have been judged, trashed and threatened [...] since I chose to speak up. The media decided to turn the survivors' lives into a mocking story in support of the white man, I guess that’s how power works. I have been warned and told to shut up several times, but that story will always be a part of me, and I choose to keep fighting for justice. Maybe not for me anymore since my abuser is dead, but for many others who have gone through what we did. It has to stop. Though my rights were violated, my hopes and dreams crushed, I’m still persistent and courageous and I will forever boldly and fiercely stand against my past and fight for tomorrow.”
Patricia* 21, currently a university student, was sold by her uncle to a teacher, who raped and beat her. After being rescued by police at the age of 11 she was brought to Bery’s place.
“The lake reminds me of love. It mothered me whenever I was sad and didn’t have anyone to turn too. The water was always there to listen to my cries and together with the wind, they carried my deepest secrets.”
Eliona* 18 sits by the port where boats, the only regular means of transport to her home on Kalangala Island, can be found loading and unloading.
A grandfather and a father of one of the girls sign the paperwork to receive back their daughter at the Lily of the Valley shelter following its closure.
“I was among those who opened the first case in 2013. It was two of us who went to the same school. We talked to a volunteer at the house who took us from school and helped us open up the case. When they arrested Bery, he threatened all the other girls to turn against us and say we were lying and proceeded to bribe his way out until the case was dismissed with no further investigation. We became the outcasts, and everyone hated us. We never went back and fortunately, we had sponsors, so we are still able to study.”
Eve* Now 19 was brought to Bery’s by an agent, who roamed the villages looking for ‘girls to be helped by a white rich man’. She was living at her aunt's place after her parents died and was 8 years old when started living with Bery.
Mercy* 17 brought me these flowers as we were winding up the day's shoot with the biggest smile. It truly made me hopeful for them.